Everyone has their own reason for moving to a new country. There are several things that pointed me in this direction. The first thing I remember that started this desire was, back when the Syrian refugee crisis was getting covered more in the news I wanted to do something to help people who were having to flee their country. However, living in Missouri there really isn’t much interaction to be had with refugees and I wasn’t certain what I could do practically. My husband and I decided to give monthly to an organization that helped refugees. This was not enough for me, but it also felt like the most useful thing we could do at the time as college students. When I heard about all the refugees Germany was taking in I remember saying, “I wish we could just go to Germany and help. Since they seem to be doing all the work.” I meant it sincerely but never thought I would actually have the opportunity to actually do so.

The second thing that got us looking at Germany was the fact that my husband is an artist. He came across an article about Art Cities while looking at Graduate schools by Artsy. They, of course, covered New York and Los Angeles, but Berlin stuck out to us. It was the most affordable city we found that we liked. We dreamed a bit but still didn’t pursue it. It was only after some rejection letters and many reconsiderations that we decided it would be best to seriously consider studying abroad. For Josh (my husband) it was easy to know why this move was best for him. For me, I wasn’t as certain. I was struggling with so much after graduating. While I loved what I had studied I found that it was something that I lacked far too much talent in to adequately pursue. I was in the process of really trying to choose a job. I felt frustrated and gipped by the fact that I was so often discouraged from pursuing different things at a young age, that I felt as though I was behind my peers. I was fine with relocating because Josh had direction, he knew what he wanted and I just said, “Well, I can figure out what I want to do in Germany.” Thankfully, I began to figure out part of mine sooner though.

To give a loaded statement about myself, I’m a Christian. I grew up in a Christian household and embraced that faith early on when I was 5 years old. Looking back I am amazed at some of the beliefs I held. For me, my faith has been everything in my life. It has gotten me through the most difficult times of losing my father at 7, my grandma at 9 and many, many others. I have wanted since a young age to make my life more centered around my faith. As a child I had boldness. I related to St. Peter the most with his brashness, he moved forward blindly in belief. He reached out as a warrior and struck a mere servant at Jesus arrest due to his zealous love and nature. I was much the same. Through many circumstances, I lost this boldness. I became timid in my beliefs as I learned about hateful people who also claimed Christianity. I even shared beliefs with some of these hateful Christians, but I didn’t know how to show love and hold those beliefs with such hate. As a child I dreamed of becoming a missionary in a foreign land, as I grew older, I became intimidated, uncertain, and followed what others told me to do. How could I bring my faith back into my life? How could I become bold again?